Ben’s blog

Handwriting Analysis

nobody@vox.com(Ben) — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 11:40:49 -0500

I analyzed my handwriting using the Handwriting Wizard. I used a page of notes from a Carter Lindberg lecture last year about Martin Luther and capitalism.

Welcome Benjamin Kimball, here is your handwriting analysis.

Benjamin is a very emotional person with a broad range of emotions from the highest highs to the lowest lows. He feels emotional situations very strongly. He'll flash to the very peaks of elation, sweeping everything before him. Then, for some reason unknown to himself, he will burn out emotionally. These mood swings can be very disturbing to him. Sometimes, he feels that he can no longer produce anything. But, after given some time alone to "recharge his emotional batteries", he will spring back into action.

This is right on so far. Although I have learned how to control my emotions, they are still there. I am a moody person and often crave alone time to help center myself.

Because Benjamin feels situations intensely, he relates easily to others' problems. If he is not careful, when he comes into contact with someone who is in a depressed frame of mind, he will also suffer the same emotions and change moods. Benjamin reacts impulsively, without much thought before hand. He may plan everything in detail before he even begins, then do it completely different when the time comes to carry it through.

I do relate to the feelings of others very well and I often change moods depending on who I am around. However, I am not impulsive. I do plan everything I do in excruciating, often debilitating detail and will then follow the plan to the best of my ability.

Benjamin has a strong need for affection. He thrives on touching and being touched. Benjamin desires being told that he is loved, every day. He enjoys being the center of attention. He loves attention, sometimes he even retells stories that got him attention earlier.

This is also true. I am a touchy-feely person.

Benjamin has the possibility of being a actor or natural born salesperson, simply because he relates so well to other people. He likes expressing how he feels, what he is doing, and what he plans to do. He is a people person.

I am not sure about this one. I suppose I do like being asked how I feel, what I am doing, and what I plan to do.

He will work most efficiently in a people orientated job as opposed to a job working alone on an assembly line (that would drive him insane.)

Although people do irritate me, I would rather work with people than work alone. I once had a job as a forklift road mechanic and it was very lonely. I also had a job that traveled to different places (often in different states) servicing robots. This was also lonely.

People that write their letters in an average height and average size are moderate in their ability to interact socially. According to the data input, Benjamin doesn't write too large or too small, indicating a balanced ability to be social and interact with others.

I do well interacting with some people more than others. I seem to do better with females rather than males.

When Benjamin expresses an opinion on a issue he will stick to that opinion, and probably will not change his mind. In other words... Benjamin is stubborn. When he is wrong about something that he has decided upon, he will have trouble admitting he is wrong. Changing Benjamin's mind can be very difficult. Once Benjamin makes up his mind, he doesn't want to be confused with the facts!

This is not completely true. I believe I do admit when I am wrong, when presented with proper evidence. However, one does need to present a compelling case to change my mind. I am not flaky and do not change my mind simply because someone tells me something.

Benjamin will be candid and direct when expressing his opinion. He will tell them what he thinks if they ask for it, whether they like it or not. So, if they don't really want his opinion, don't ask for it!

Why should I lie about something? If you don't want the truth, don't ask for my opinion. Some people like to be pandered to and will often ask questions hoping for a specific answer. You will only get honest opinions from me.

In reference to Benjamin's mental abilities, he has a very investigating and creating mind. He investigates projects rapidly because he is curious about many things. He gets involved in many projects that seem good at the beginning, but he soon must slow down and look at all the angles. He probably gets too many things going at once. When Benjamin slows down, then he becomes more creative than before. Since it takes time to be creative, he must slow down to do it. He then decides what projects he has time to finish. Thus he finishes at a slower pace than when he started the project.

He has the best of two kinds of minds. One is the quick investigating mind. The other is the creative mind. His mind thinks quick and rapidly in the investigative mode. He can learn quicker, investigate more, and think faster. Benjamin can then switch into his low gear. When he is in the slower mode, he can be creative, remember longer and stack facts in a logical manner. He is more logical this way and can climb mental mountains with a much better grip.

This is very true. This describes very well how I tackle an academic project.

Benjamin is a practical person whose goals are planned, practical, and down to earth. This is typical of people with normal healthy self-esteem. He needs to visualize the end of a project before he starts. he finds joy in anticipation and planning. Notice that I said he plans everything he is going to do, that doesn't necessarily mean things go as planned. Benjamin basically feels good about himself. He has a positive self-esteem which contributes to his success. He feels he has the ability to achieve anything he sets his mind to. However, he sets his goals using practicality-- not too "out of reach". He has enough self-confidence to leave a bad situation, yet, he will not take great risks, as they relate to his goals. A good esteem is one key to a happy life. Although there is room for improvement in the confidence category, his self-perception is better than average.

This is true as well. To be successful in my head, I need to tackle and finish projects that are achievable, yet somewhat challenging. Moderation is important for me.

Benjamin is sarcastic. This is a defense mechanism designed to protect his ego when he feels hurt. He pokes people harder than he gets poked. These sarcastic remarks can be very funny. They can also be harsh, bitter, and caustic at the same time.

More truth is displayed here. I speak with a forked tongue. I have to temper this sarcasm sometimes because it can offend delicate personalities.

Benjamin has a healthy imagination and displays a fair amount of trust. He lets new people into his circle of friends. He uses his imagination to understand new ideas, things, and people.

This is my artistic side coming through. I do trust easily and will let people into my circle. However, once that trust it betrayed, it's extremely difficult to return.

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The Happiness Myth

nobody@vox.com(Ben) — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 21:54:21 -0500

The Happiness Myth: Why What We Think Is Right Is Wrong

Jennifer Michael Hecht

★★★

I purchased this at Half Price Books. It was located in Psychology, a section I have previously ignored in my preference to the Religion, Philosophy, and Native American sections. I found so many interesting books in the Psychology section and I was dumbfounded at my previous ignorance of this fascinating area of the bookstore.

Needless to say, this is more of a philosophy book than a psychology book. Jennifer Michael Hecht's wanted to look at how we view our current happiness in a historical framework, outside of our current culture. Hecht believes our cultural education shapes how we value what makes us happy. In order for us to look objectively at what makes us happy, we need to look at the history of those things that make us happy.

Yet the worst thing we do to ourselves is not about giant hats, tight corsets, bad diets, or cosmetic surgery; the worst thing we do to ourselves is to let ourselves get trapped in thoughts and behaviors for decades, for a lifetime, repeating and repeating. What a paralyzing potion culture can be! The antidote is history. (14)

I can't say I disagree. History can teach us so much about our current condition and us. Many great mistakes can be avoided by simply knowing your history.

According to the great philosophers, your worst barrier against happiness is you, you own wrong thinking. Your four problems are these: You cannot see yourself or much about the world you live in. You are ruled by desire and emotion. You will not take your place or rise to your role. You are alternately oblivious to death and terrified of it. As such, your job is to master these for errors in yourself. If you do, you will be happy and more free to love, work, and play the way you wish you could. None of this comes easily; it has to be practiced a great deal, and it never works completely. (67)

This is wonderful insight. So many people allow their emotions and desires to rule their personality, which in turn clouds their judgment and enables them to make bad choices. People have the ability to rise above these errors and take control of their lives.

We fall into an error of thinking about drugs in black-and-white terms: that some drugs are good and some are bad. This idea is in the minds of users as well as abstainers. We all inhabit a cultural frame wherein some drugs are for normal people and some are for naughty people--and none of them are understood as happiness drugs. The only drugs our present-day culture might call happiness drugs are modern prescription psychopharmaceuticals-- and even these are more likely to be called antidepression than pro-happiness. (91)

There is much hypocrisy where drugs are concerned. Some drugs are good and some are bad, depending on how they are viewed by the culture. Although most drugs provide happiness, some are acceptable and some are not. I used to fall into this hypocrisy because I held a strong hatred of illegal drugs. Reading this book has helped me think about and realize this hypocrisy within myself.

Though we feel proud of how much we know nowadays, we can find ourselves sad that our world is more reasonable than magical. Cheer up: we don't know as much as we think we do, and we are, in fact, magical. (311)

This is another reminder of my great realization and theory about humanity: many people really don't know all that much about anything.

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Vox Hunt: Oh Canada!

nobody@vox.com(Ben) — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 20:27:59 -0500

In honor of Canada Day, show us your favorite Canadian.

Ben and the Flag

I am my favourite Canadian. Since spending two fabulous weeks in Toronto during the year 2000, I have been plotting my eventual migration to Canada. Someday, I will proudly renounce my citizenship to the United States and embrace being a Canadian. Until that glorious day, I will be a Canadian in spirit.

Happy Canada Day!

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Vox Hunt: 70s Flashback

nobody@vox.com(Ben) — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 20:18:01 -0500

Show us something in your house from the 1970s.

NAB Bible

This is the 1971-1972 edition of the New American Bible.

Pope Paul VI

This bible includes several full color photographs, including this fine picture of Pope Paul VI. Check out those eyes. I hope that when I am pope, I will have eyes that look like that. I also hope I can mimic that popish look Paul has in this photograph.

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Graduation

nobody@vox.com(Ben) — Sun, 29 Jun 2008 15:30:32 -0500

I managed to hold myself together today and not cry during the commencement. I almost did last night because Heather made me a Rosary for a graduation gift. It was such a wonderful gift and I appreciate it very much.

06-29-08_1444

Today I went to both the Baccalaureate ceremony and Commencement. I thought I would be more emotional during everything, but I was not feeling well and almost had to leave the Commencement. It was so hot and crowded in the gym that I concentrated more on how I was feeling physically then emotionally. Despite this, I really enjoyed both ceremonies. There were many qualities speeches, the most notable coming from ELCA Bishop Mark Hanson.

I really thought I would be sappier that I am right now. I started my undergraduate career in January of 2004 a wayward youth not really understanding how much I would change during college. Looking back, I have grown so much as a person that I really do not remember that person. Obviously the change to religion is a major shift in my personality. Just looking at this particular subject, my religious framework has been altered several times. I became a Christian, fought off the pull of fundamentalism, and established a religious identity that I am both comfortable with and proud to proclaim. I also learned humility, respect of the religious differences of others, and a healthy fear of God.

However, religion is only a part of the person I am today. I became interested in philosophy, which also helped me as a religious person. I realize the necessity of philosophy as something that helps both ground me and teach me how to think critically. I have a firm belief that many people being educated in religion should also take a healthy dose of philosophy to help them sort out and challenge their own beliefs.

A major change I embraced was becoming an avid reader. Before college, I rarely read much of anything, let alone books. Today I am always reading a book, sometimes two at a time. I never realized the importance of reading until I was in class during the spring of 2004 and feeling behind on my thinking because I was not well read. I worked hard to change this and it has paid off immensely. I no longer feel embarrassed about having difficulty understanding a written work. Part of the reason I will be successful at Luther Seminary is my embrace of reading early on in my undergraduate studies.

Other subjects have rose up to become interests I have today. I took many art classes, which rekindled a skill and passion I once had in high school. I also am apparently good as Spanish. After Commencement, there were departmental receptions and I attended the one for humanities. Expecting to see some religion professors there (which I did, but not ones I had for courses), I instead was treated to visit briefly with my Spanish professor. She spoke glowingly about my ability to learn the language. She asked me where I learned Spanish before Augsburg and I told her that I never had spoken a word of Spanish before this year. She was shocked and complimented my ability to pick up Spanish so quickly. This made me happy and convinced me to not allow the Spanish I have learned to go by the wayside.

Like I have said in earlier posts, I thoroughly enjoyed every course I completed. I learned something from each one that has contributed to the person I am today. From learning about indigenous people to the natural sciences, I am a better person today because of the knowledge I have gained in college.

I have grown so much at Augsburg. While realizing that I have so much to learn, I am eternally grateful for everything I have achieved. My emotions are tempered because I know that I am starting a new journey in September. However, I am still weepy and my cry if I think about graduating too much. I really feel done, though, and have the closure needed to successfully end this chapter of my life.

Ben and Diploma

Why do they give out empty diploma holders anyway?

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Vox Hunt: Sixth Grade Serenade

nobody@vox.com(Ben) — Sat, 28 Jun 2008 10:24:45 -0500

Share a song you listened to in 6th grade.

Guns N' Roses - Welcome To The Jungle

In sixth grade, I had to borrow my Appetite for Destruction tape to Tommy Allen. He was the scariest heavy metal bully in school. This kid beat up poor suckers right and left and I was frightened to death when he approached me, asking to borrow my tape. Knowing already in sixth grade how the world of bullies worked, I quickly relented and let him have it. What choice did I have? If I didn't give it to him, I would run the risk of getting my face beat in at the worse and at the very least getting mocked and ridiculed for the remainder of my middle school experience. Although he reassured me I would receive the tape back the next day, I was worried that I listened to Nightrain on my Walkman for the last time.

Thankfully, Tommy Allen was a bully that kept his word. Appetite was returned to me and in exchange for my willingness to borrow the tape he never bullied me. In fact, his protection was appreciated because not only did he have older, much stronger friends, he went on a terror streak in seventh grade that thankfully bypassed me. I believe my constant viewing of '80s movies on HBO instructed me on how to deal with bullies.

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Technically Finished

nobody@vox.com(Ben) — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 21:34:08 -0500

Tonight was graduation rehearsal. I also received notice that my degree was posted to my transcripts, which were then sent to Luther. This means that I have technically finished my degree and am finished as an undergraduate student. This clears away any lingering doubt and will allow me to enjoy this Sunday's commencement ceremony. That day will feature a blubbering, sappy post about how I changed at college and how much I will miss Augsburg.

Today, however, I celebrate my academic achievement. I use Excel because I am surrounded by it every day at work. It's how engineering in the plastics world is done. Executives do not understand data unless they are displayed in an easy to read graph.

GPA per Year

GPA Courses

These are the courses in which I received letter grades.

Grades

These are the grades I received in those courses, listed in chronological order.

Pass Fail Classes

These are the courses I completed that I did not earn a letter grade. The two underlined courses were Pass/Fail by choice.

I did all of this working full-time at an extremely stress-filled job that featured two promotions and a plant relocation 45 minutes away in Wisconsin, where I currently am working. I also moved during this time (summer of 2004), traveled to Florida (twice during the academic year), Michigan (during my off summers), and Idaho (during a summer philosophy course). I also changed my major five times before settling on Religion in the summer of 2005. Perhaps this is why my grades finally stabilized at this time.

I had to learn how to properly allot my time in order to make all of this work. I sacrificed lunchtime at work to do homework. I also learned how to break down large assignments and papers into smaller, manageable units. I avoided the procrastination that seems to plague many people. Thankfully, my family was supportive and allowed me the necessary support, space, and patience to ensure my success in college. For that, I am eternally grateful.

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Life QotW: Personal Projects

nobody@vox.com(Ben) — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 17:08:56 -0500

What project are you working on right now that's not work related?

Peanuts 062508

For many people, their lives are segmented into a wide variety of personal projects. I am no exception because at any given moment, I am working on several projects of varying importance. One of the largest projects I have worked on in my life, a bachelors degree, is coming to a close. In September, I will undergo another large academic project by starting to work on earning a Master of Arts degree in the History of Christianity.

Reading is a broad category that is like an umbrella over several small projects. I consider every book I read a project. To date, I have completed 22 book reading projects. My current reading project is:

The Happiness Myth: Why What We Think Is Right Is Wrong

Jennifer Michael Hecht

★★★

A long term reading project is to make a serious dent on the 1001 Books I Must Read Before I Die list. I have read 21 books on the list (2.1%). It would take 82 years to finish the list at a pace of one book per month. Since I am 32 years old now, I would be 114 years old before the project would be complete. While this is not impossible, I would like to enjoy my century years without the suffocating burden of completing this project. If I increase the pace to one book every two weeks, I can finish the list in 38 years.

Unfortunately, I like to read books that are not on the list. This is a problem because I do not think I can do both. I have resigned myself to the fact I will not read every book on this list. If I resign myself to only reading half of the remaining books on the list (490 books), I can complete that project in 41 years. I think I can commit to that.

1001 Books

Of course there are other projects on my plate. I have a flooring project that is on hiatus for a reason I am not sure of right now. I also have a home office project that is near the end of the design stage.

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Vox Hunt: Annoying Cartoon Character

nobody@vox.com(Ben) — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 09:48:00 -0500

Show us the cartoon character that annoys you the most.

The Emperor's New school

Kuzco is almost the most annoying cartoon character on the planet. I become physically and mentally disturbed to such a degree that I need to leave the room whenever I hear the theme music. Thankfully the children did not like this show and I was not subjected to it on a regular basis.

However,

sponge bob square pants messed up

Sponge Bob Square Pants is the most annoying cartoon character (and show) ever. I banned it from the house because I believe it destroys young minds. There are good cartoons out there that both entertain and educate (PBS's Arthur is a good one). Sponge Bob is not one of them. It is like junk food being shoveled out on television. Thankfully, the children did not force the issue and never acquired a desire to watch this trash.

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Poo, DPT, and Fainting

nobody@vox.com(Ben) — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 12:49:34 -0500

Fainting First Aid

This post was originally intended to talk about my issues associated with the urge to poo in bookstores and libraries. Since I was a young child, I have always encountered the urge to poo when spending a short amount of time in a library. Yesterday, I experienced a trifecta of this problem because I visited Barnes & Noble, Half Price Books, and the local library. This triple play caused me to use the facilities at the local Target.

I planned on going into excruciating detail about this affair. I apparently am not alone in this because it was discussed on both MetaFilter and this website. However, my DPT shot this morning changed my mind.

I had to visit the chemist this morning because the Seminary requires current vaccines before one can register for classes. Since my last DPT shot was in 1995, I was forced to comply with this requirement. My brief history with inoculations involves fainting, vomiting, and general queasiness. On that day in 1995, I received not only the DPT but also a MMR booster. I had to suck it up during the short drive home to avoid fainting behind the wheel. Apparently, judging by the information provided by Ericka, I looked like a walking corpse.

Getting my blood drawn is a nightmare. In my 33 years on the planet, I have only had my blood drawn once. This occurred in 2001 when a life insurance nurse came to my house and had to deal with my juvenile efforts to avoid looking at the needle. I eventually settled down long enough to cover my head with a pillow during the draw.

Fast-forward to today, the family accompanied me to the clinic so I would not have to drive afterward. I was nervous before my shot and I sucked down the majority of the water in Ericka's plastic jug. I was feeling ok when the injection nurse called my name and asked me the typical questions. The first curve ball came when she asked me if my left arm was ok for the shot. I had mentally prepared my right arm for the injection. After giving my consent to this change, she shot me quickly and I did not feel anything. However, I immediately felt faint and almost passed out. The injection nurse asked me if I would like a Sprite or orange juice and I chose the Sprite. As soon as she came back, I was almost done. She threw a gown on the floor and instructed me to lie down with my feet on the chair I was sitting on. I followed her direction and I instantly felt all of the blood in my body rush into my head. While I am squeamish even typing this, I felt so much better. After about five minutes, I sat up and felt much better. The nurse told me that if I felt up to it, I could wait in the waiting room for the duration of the twenty minutes (all people getting inoculations were advised to wait in the waiting room for twenty minutes after the shot).

I got up and met my family in the waiting room and immediately noticed the mortified look on Ericka's face. She proceeded to tell me that my ears, normally a pinkish color, were completely white. Thankful for that, I sat down and watched Jaycie and Maxwell play war uninterested in my condition. After ten minutes, the darkness returned and I, for some reason, wanted to walk out of the room. I really wanted to lie on the floor again, but I did not want to create a scene in the waiting room. So I decided it was better to lie down in the hallway, were everyone was stepping over my head. Listening to Ericka again, I moved to the couch by the elevator, where a medical assistant noticed my condition and notified another nurse. Seeing this disturbance rising up, I sat up again and played better. Ericka, the stalwart spouse she is, did not waiver and withstood the embarrassment of having her husband lying on the hallway floor of a medical clinic with his feet up on a chair.

Needless to say, I felt good enough to go down the stairs, get into the car that Ericka pulled up to the door, and survived the drive home. About fifteen minutes ago, she informed me that I looked normal again. Although my arm is sore, I do feel better now.

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