Saturday's Live Blog: Powersitting

Today I have been graced with the presence of my three nephews for the day, as everyone is at either work or school. Now, some mortals would shudder at the thought of watching five children at one time. However, years of parenting have seasoned this grizzly caregiver.

Today is a busy day outside of powersitting. I have a house to clean in preparation of the Rock-n-Roll book club, set to convene around 6 pm to discuss the wretched book by Diablo Cody, Candy Girl. My feelings about this book are well-known and I will enjoy watching others (including myself) tear this book to shreds.

I also have to maintain my homework schedule. I have to write page 4 of my paper linking the Christian doctrine of the Image of God to the current immigration debate. I also have to write page 13 of 25 of my paper on the Joint Declaration of the Doctrine of Justification, signed in 1997 between the Lutheran World Federation and the Roman Catholic Church. I am currently writing a section about the condemnations issued by the Council of Trent.

Here is an hourly synopsis of today's events.

7:30 am to 8:30 am:

• Children arrive
• Fifteen minutes of silent prayer and meditation give the group a good start to the day
  
• Coffee is made and consumed by the adult
  
• Three of five children ate a breakfast of Marshmallow Mateys
• Dishes from Thursday's rotini event were washed
  
• A stimulating conversation occurred about cats drinking toilet water
• Television shows included "Sabrina the Teenage Witch" and "Full House"
• Jaycie takes three children upstairs for what I assume will be lessons in lip gloss, High School Musical, and stuffed animals
  

8:30 am to 9:30 am:

• Children remain upstairs for half an hour, then return downstairs to play scavenger hunt with stuffed animals shaped like vegetables
• Cats are fighting
• Jaycie becomes impatient at the slow response her computer
• All children are now playing Legos
• I am completing my task for my immigration paper
• The Weather Channel is on location in Ohio, covering the great March blizzard

9:30 to 10:30 am:

• Breakfast round 2 takes place, with the nephews desiring more bowls of Marshmallow Mateys
• Jaycie feasts on red grapes
• Maxwell chooses a bowl of Honey Graham Squares (we are a family of generic cereals)
• I choose a ham and cheese sandwich with a cup of skim milk
• Liam cries because he misses his mom
• I reassure him with comforting words and Jaycie tickles him, which helps tremendously
  
• All children use Legos to build the tower "Hannahtopia", aptly named by Jayice
• All children receive Fruit Roll-ups upon completion of breakfast
• I finish my page on immigration
• Elf is entertaining us on the tele
• Jaycie rounds up the troop and brings them upstairs and the youngest nephew instructs me to stay downstairs

10:30 am to noon:

• Jaycie and Maxwell form a band, featuring guitar, drums, keyboard, and harmonica
• Elf gives way to the last half-hour of EWTN's Daily Mass, which promptly makes the youngest nephew fall asleep
• Maxwell takes over the laptop and searches eBay for Pokemon cards, Webkinz, and the stuffed animal mascots from the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver (his favorite being Quatchi, the stuffed Sasquatch)
• Jaycie throws an invitation-only tea party
• Oliver is marching on my stomach, purring loudly
  
• I am anticipating the start of the Class A High School Hockey Championship game, featuring St. Thomas Academy versus Duluth Marshall
• Everyone enjoys a round of Cheetos

Noon to 1:00 pm:

• The youngest nephew seems to be waking up
• An arousing game of hide and seek is underway
• A verbal altercation developed over the use of a foam jack-o-lantern, which resulted in one timeout
• I am working on my Justification paper
• St. Thomas Academy leads Duluth Marshall 2-0 at the start of the second period

1:00 pm to 2:30 pm:

• The oldest nephew changed out of his Jaycie-supplied skirt and fell asleep
• One nephew was caught in a lie and served a timeout
• A stimulating conversation explaining the merits of flushing the toilet occurred
  
• Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, cut into four squares, were served to much jubilation
• St. Thomas Academy defeated Duluth Marshall 5-1, securing the boys Class A state high school hockey championship
• I completed the daily work on my Justification paper, allowing me to enjoy a homework free remainder of the day
• Lego building continues
• I started to experience caffeine-induced shakes, so I consumed a Maruchan Instant Ramen lunch

2:20 pm to 3:30 pm:

• The slumbering oldest nephew was joined in sleep by the middle nephew
• I completed the cleaning of both the kitchen and the bathroom
• Ned's Declassified is now showing on Nickelodeon
  
• Brother and sister engaged in a heated discourse over Maxwell's use of a noisy toy (possibly a Happy Meal toy), to which the middle nephew attempted to stand up for Jaycie's honor
• I intervened to diffuse the tension
• One of my neighbor's teenage daughters had her friend, driving a Ford Taurus plastered with a Ron Paul bumper sticker, park in the fire lane

3:30 to 4:30 pm:

• Two nephews are still sleeping
• The youngest nephew enjoys tossing his blanket in the air
• Bananas are the snack of choice
• I have read several chapters of my Vine Deloria Jr.'s book God is Red
• Disney Channel is showing "Life With Derek"
• Jaycie just broke out the Backyardigans Memory Game
  

4:30 to 5:30 pm:

• The Lady of the house arrives carrying Sunkist orange
  
• I fry up ground turkey in anticipation of the Rock-n-Roll Bookclub
• One child awakes thanks to the Lady's prodding
• I sweep and disinfect the living room

6:00 pm:

• Shift off--the nephews were collected by their mother
  
• I conducted a seminar educating the people on how to locate a Mitsubishi's hood release
• I poured in a gallon of purple windshield washer fluid

I will now enjoy trashing Diablo Cody's terrible book and watching the Class AA boys hockey championship game, featuring the Edina Hornets versus the Hill-Murray Pioneers.