Diablo Cody Knows Nothing About Football and Religion
I do not profess great knowledge in many areas of the human existence. However, I do know a lot about two things: NFL football and the Catholic Church.
Diablo Cody apparently came to our glorious Twin Cities in January of 2003 (pg. 2). Allegedly, near the tail end of winter, Cody stumbled upon amateur night at a strip club, was intrigued, and became a stripper (pg. 8).
A few weeks later, supposedly at another strip club, Cody described the customers: "The customers looked bored and flaccid, more interested in the Vikings game on TV than in the half-naked dolls who were curled in their laps." The problem with this statement is that it is false. The Vikings were not playing football because they were not in the playoffs. Check the link for the list of teams that make the playoffs in the 2002 NFL season (the playoff games were played in January 2003).
Don't lie to me about football: I will find out.
Cody makes many references to religion, particularly her supposed Polish Catholic roots in Chicago (pg. 44). Cody made this claim about her religion: "I'd received every available Catholic sacrament with the exception of matrimony and last rites" (pg. 7). The Catholic Church has seven sacraments: Baptism, Eucharist, Confirmation, Matrimony, Reconciliation, Anointing of the Sick, and Holy Orders. Catechism 1538 talks about ordination:
Integration into one of these bodies in the Church was accomplished by a rite called ordinatio, a religious and liturgical act which was a consecration, a blessing or a sacrament. Today the word "ordination" is reserved for the sacramental act which integrates a man into the order of bishops, presbyters, or deacons, and goes beyond a simple election, designation, delegation, or institution by the community, for it confers a gift of the Holy Spirit that permits the exercise of a "sacred power" (sacra potestas) which can come only from Christ himself through his Church. Ordination is also called consecratio, for it is a setting apart and an investiture by Christ himself for his Church. The laying on of hands by the bishop, with the consecratory prayer, constitutes the visible sign of this ordination.
Near the end of the book, during a dialogue with her supposed boyfriend Jonny about a male customer at Sex World dressed up as a nun: "More like a Jesuit nun. You know, modest. Sackcloth and all that" (pg. 179). The problem with this is that the Jesuits are a religious order of priests and brothers, not nuns.
Throughout the book, Cody makes many references to the amount of Lutherans in Minnesota. Cody said, "Apparently, blushingly intact Lutheran brides and their attendants think sex shops are an absolute riot (pg. 166). I guess Cody thinks Minnesota is crawling with Lutherans. She could not be further from the truth.
A couple of weeks ago, the Pew Forum on Religion & Public Life released the results from an extensive survey on religion in the United States. The survey results for the Minnesotans that responded include the following percentages of total population: Mainline Protestants are 32%, Catholics are 28%, Evangelical Protestants are 21%. Remembering that the Protestant group is made up of more than Lutherans (ELCA, LCMS, WELS, etc.), I think it is safe to say that Cody had no clue about the religious makeup of Minnesotans. There are a lot of Catholics in Minnesota too, Diablo. To simply lump all Minnesotans as Lutheran is not only idiotic: it is disrespectful of a person's religion.
I can just hear the criticism now: I am nit-picking the details. Maybe I am. However, if she is bull-shitting us on the small details, who knows if the major points in her so-called memoir are correct. Don't fall for the hype: she is a bad writer who apparently got luck with Juno.
